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MEN ABUSE IN INDIA

Most of us are aware of this message that is being propagated through many Communication Channels.

A guy asked a girl in a library,

“Do you mind if I sit beside you?”

The girl answered with a loud voice,

“I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT

WITH YOU!!!!!”

All of the students in the library

started staring at the guy. He was

very embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl

walked quietly to the guy’s table and told him,

“I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking”.

Let me guess, you were embarrassed, huh?”

The guy responded with a loud voice,

“200 DOLLARS FOR ONE NIGHT?!?!?!

THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!”

…and all the people in the library

looked at the girl in shock. The guy

leaned over and whispered, “I study

Law, and I know how to make people

look guilty.”

                   Yes, women are competing in every sphere with men and the crime rate against women is high in India. Recent happenings which triggered agitations across the country and consequently the government strengthened the law against women crime.The legislative changes which began in India made it impossible for a guy to harbor the thought of slapping a girl in the public for her indecent behavior unlike the other way round where it is now a free for all. Some women are even misusing it. When a man rapes a woman, it is called crime and when a woman rapes a man it is called love as per law, media and society today. This shows that even the rape law is not gender neutral.

                 There is something which I recently experienced in the streets of Kolkata when I was roaming around and visiting the Dussera pandals at night.

                 I am sharing it with a HEAVY HEART because i never experienced such an embarrassing situation from a TYPICAL BENGALI WOMAN while travelling in a bus with my friends from DUM DUM PARK to LAKE TOWN in KOLKATA at around 2 A.M

                The incident started with a conversation about Bengali women, in a crowdy DUM DUM park at around 2 AM.

Me: Your Bengali is awesome. Its refined and fast just as how a Bengali would speak. How did you learn?

Friend: Thanks(Smiling). I’m living here for the past 3 years and I’m acquainted to people here.

Me: Dude, I have observed that a married woman here looks more decent and natural than an unmarried Bengali girl. what’s it that happens after marriage that they change this way?

Friend: Don’t you know what happens after marriage (pun intending)? In Bengal initially the girl turns decent irrespective of her past Attires and experiences and as they grow they all will be the same and now with costly makeups. LOL we can build a mini TAJ with the money doing the rounds in the cosmetics market of Bengal.

Me: Really? wow..!!! looks like there is uniformity right from a small 5 year old angel to a 70 year old woman. I Just Couldn’t predict her age..!!!

Friend : Shall we take a bus/metro/local to Lake Town?

Me: We better travel in bus as metro seems to be overcrowded 🙂

Got into the bus..!!!..A Lady was standing in the middle of the bus. We parked ourselves facing her holding the support rod as it was a little bit crowdy. And mind you, we were having no ulterior motives whatsoever.

Me(in Telugu, obviously): What a beauty dude…!!! Look at her long beautiful green designer saree, silky hair, designer bindi, thick eyeliner, perlee hoop earrings, shining gloss, traditional necklace, twinkling diamond rings, designer bangles(design on top of black color looked awesome). The costly attire is simply sexy.

Friend : Yes, it is. She is beautiful and married too. Look at her cute kid who is sitting down close to her.

Me(surprised at the revelation): Oh my!!!

After a while,
Lady(staring at me for a while like a jinx and shouting): What’s your problem? Who the  heck are you?

And then started shouting in Bengali which I fortunately couldn’t understand. I thought it was because she could understand Telugu. Not knowing how to react, I was patiently smiling back at her.

Lady(In the middle): Turn that side. Turn that side…!!! Waving her hands

I understood that there is something wrong with her.

Someone from back shouts out loud, “Did he do anything to you? Did he did anything to you?(Bengali).”

Lady(shouting now, eyes becoming bigger): I say you TURN THAT WAY.

The anger simmering inside me now erupted and reached my brain, eyes and then took over my part of my body. My hands were shivering and finally I was about to open my mouth with finger pointed going towards her with much anger.

Friend(observing me) : STOP .

Pushing me back he said,  “Shhh…Turn that side”.

Me: WTF happened to her!!.

The woman was still shouting continuously in Bengali.!!!

Friend: Madam, he doesn’t know Bengali.

Friend(louder voice): Turn that side otherwise they will STAMPEDE BOTH OF US TO DEATH..!!!

Eyes rolled and a sense of silence passed between me and my friend and disgruntled voices reached my ears.

I slowly turned back ashamed and calmed down gradually. We got seats and numerous thoughts crossed my mind like past events, agitations, reason for shouts, men abuses and cases i have read, videos i have seen.

Friend: What are you thinking?

Me: Dude does she look beautiful now?  we have seen some Bengali celeb at Maddox square yesterday who were so polite. Is she more than them? I got a feeling that she is thinking that she is the queen of Bengal.

Friend: Leave it all. As you kept your hand on the support rod near to her hand may be you unintentionally touched her and while shouting she is telling you were rubbing against her(might be wrong) and want to steal her rings.

Me: SHOCKED..!!!

Friend: Nothing surprising friend this is a way WOMEN in INDIA misuse their RESPECT and SECURITY. This is not new in BENGAL.

Me: Had I slapped her I would be dead in public :o. THANK GOD you saved me.

MEN ABUSE IN INDIA

MEN ABUSE IN INDIA

WOMEN in INDIA have some RESPECT and SECURITY in today’s society and it is taking an exponential curve. They should not MISUSE BOTH. PLEASE STOP MEN ABUSE IN INDIA.

INTERNATIONAL MEN'S DAY

INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY

Photo Courtesy: http://swarup1972.blogspot.in/2013/01/wake-up-call-for-indian-men-be-ready.html
Short Film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwXVwdtAV-c

A GEM OF ARTICLE

Too good to read…

A gem of an article.

Have Passion!

It was probably the April of 1974. Bangalore was getting warm and gulmohars were blooming at the IISc campus. I was the only girl in my postgraduate department and was staying at the ladies’ hostel. Other girls were pursuing research in different departments of Science.

I was looking forward to going abroad to complete a doctorate in computer science. I had been offered scholarships from Universities in the US. I had not thought of taking up a job in India.

One day, while on the way to my hostel from our lecture-hall complex, I saw an advertisement on the notice board. It was a standard job-requirement notice from the famous automobile company Telco (now Tata Motors). It stated that the company required young, bright engineers, hardworking and with an excellent academic background, etc.

At the bottom was a small line: “Lady candidates need not apply.”

I read it and was very upset. For the first time in my life I was up against gender discrimination.

Though I was not keen on taking up the job, I saw it as a challenge. I had done extremely well in academics, better than most of my male peers. Little did I know then that in real life academic excellence is not enough to be successful.

After reading the notice I went fuming to my room. I decided to inform the topmost person in Telco’s management about the injustice the company was perpetrating. I got a postcard and started to write, but there was a problem: I did not know who headed Telco. I thought it must be one of the Tatas. I knew JRD Tata was the head of the Tata Group; I had seen his pictures in newspapers (actually, Sumanth Moolgaokar was the company’s chairman then). I took the card, addressed it to JRD and started writing. To this day I remember clearly what I wrote.

“The great Tatas have always been pioneers. They are the people who started the basic infrastructure industries in India, such as iron and steel, chemicals, textiles and locomotives. They have cared for higher education in India since 1900 and they were responsible for the establishment of the Indian Institute of Science. Fortunately, I study there. But I am surprised how a company such as Telco is discriminating on the basis of gender.”

I posted the letter and forgot about it. Less than 10 days later, I received a telegram stating that I had to appear for an interview at Telco’s Pune facility at the company’s expense. I was taken aback by the telegram. My hostel mate told me I should use the opportunity to go to Pune free of cost and buy them the famous Pune saris for cheap! I collected Rs 30 each from everyone who wanted a sari. When I look back, I feel like laughing at the reasons for my going, but back then they seemed good enough to make the trip.

It was my first visit to Pune and I immediately fell in love with the city.

To this day it remains dear to me. I feel as much at home in Pune as I do in Hubli, my hometown. The place changed my life in so many ways. As directed, I went to Telco’s Pimpri office for the interview.

There were six people on the panel and I realised then that this was serious business.

“This is the girl who wrote to JRD,” I heard somebody whisper as soon as I entered the room. By then I knew for sure that I would not get the job. The realisation abolished all fear from my mind, so I was rather cool while the interview was being conducted.

Even before the interview started, I reckoned the panel was biased, so I told them, rather impolitely, “I hope this is only a technical interview.”

They were taken aback by my rudeness, and even today I am ashamed about my attitude. The panel asked me technical questions and I answered all of them.

Then an elderly gentleman with an affectionate voice told me, “Do you know why we said lady candidates need not apply? The reason is that we have never employed any ladies on the shop floor. This is not a co-ed college, this is a factory. When it comes to academics, you are a first ranker throughout. We appreciate that, but people like you should work in research laboratories.”

I was a young girl from small-town Hubli. My world had been a limited place.

I did not know the ways of large corporate houses and their difficulties, so I answered, “But you must start somewhere, otherwise no woman will ever be able to work in your factories.”

Finally, after a long interview, I was told I had been successful. So this was what the future had in store for me. Never had I thought I would take up a job in Pune. I met a shy young man from Karnataka there, we became good friends and we got married.

It was only after joining Telco that I realized who JRD was: the uncrowned king of Indian industry. Now I was scared, but I did not get to meet him till I was transferred to Bombay. One day I had to show some reports to Mr Moolgaokar, our chairman, who we all knew as SM. I was in his office on  the first floor of Bombay House (the Tata headquarters) when, suddenly JRD walked in. That was the first time I saw “appro JRD”. Appro means “our” in Gujarati. This was the affectionate term by which people at Bombay House called him.

I was feeling very nervous, remembering my postcard episode. SM introduced me nicely, “Jeh (that’s what his close associates called him), this  young woman is an engineer and that too a postgraduate.

She is the first woman to work on the Telco shop floor.” JRD looked at me. I was praying he would not ask me any questions about my interview (or the postcard that preceded it).

Thankfully, he didn’t. Instead, he remarked. “It is nice that girls are getting into engineering in our country. By the way, what is your name?”

“When I joined Telco I was Sudha Kulkarni, Sir,” I replied. “Now I am Sudha Murthy.” He smiled and kindly smile and started a discussion with SM. As for me, I almost ran out of the room.

After that I used to see JRD on and off. He was the Tata Group chairman and I was merely an engineer. There was nothing that we had in common. I was in awe of him.

One day I was waiting for Murthy, my husband, to pick me up after office hours. To my surprise I saw JRD standing next to me. I did not know how to react. Yet again I started worrying about that postcard. Looking back, I realise JRD had forgotten about it. It must have been a small incident for him, but not so for me.

“Young lady, why are you here?” he asked. “Office time is over.” I said, “Sir, I’m waiting for my husband to come and pick me up.” JRD said, “It is getting dark and there’s no one in the corridor.

I’ll wait with you till your husband comes.”

I was quite used to waiting for Murthy, but having JRD waiting alongside made me extremely uncomfortable.

I was nervous. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him. He wore a simple white pant and shirt. He was old, yet his face was glowing. There wasn’t any air of superiority about him. I was thinking, “Look at this person. He is a chairman, a well-respected man in our country and he is waiting for the sake of an ordinary employee.”

Then I saw Murthy and I rushed out. JRD called and said, “Young lady, tell your husband never to make his wife wait again.” In 1982 I had to resign from my job at Telco. I was reluctant to go, but I really did not have a choice. I was coming down the steps of Bombay House after wrapping up my final settlement when I saw JRD coming up. He was absorbed in thought. I wanted to say goodbye to him, so I stopped. He saw me and paused.

Gently, he said, “So what are you doing, Mrs Kulkarni?” (That was the way he always addressed me.) “Sir, I am leaving Telco.”

“Where are you going?” he asked. “Pune, Sir. My husband is starting a company called Infosys and I’m shifting to Pune.”

“Oh! And what will you do when you are successful.”

“Sir, I don’t know whether we will be successful.” “Never start with diffidence,” he advised me. “Always start with confidence. When you are successful you must give back to society. Society gives us so much; we must reciprocate. I wish you all the best.”

Then JRD continued walking up the stairs. I stood there for what seemed like a millennium. That was the last time I saw him alive. Many years later I met Ratan Tata in the same Bombay House, occupying the chair JRD once did. I told him of my many sweet memories of working with Telco. Later, he wrote to me, “It was nice hearing about Jeh from you. The sad part is that he’s not alive to see you today.”

JRD Tata and Sudha Murthy

JRD Tata and Sudha Murthy

I consider JRD a great man because, despite being an extremely busy person, he valued one postcard written by a young girl seeking justice. He must have received thousands of letters everyday. He could have thrown mine away, but he didn’t do that. He respected the intentions of that unknown girl, who had neither influence nor money, and gave her an opportunity in his company. He did not merely give her a job; he changed her life and mindset forever.

Close to 50 per cent of the students in today’s engineering colleges are girls. And there are women on the shop floor in many industry segments. I see these changes and I think of JRD. If at all time stops and asks me what I want from life, I would say I wish JRD were alive today to see how the company we started has grown. He would have enjoyed it wholeheartedly.

My love and respect for the House of Tata remains undiminished by the passage of time. I always looked up to JRD. I saw him as a role model for his simplicity, his generosity, his kindness and the care he took of his employees. Those blue eyes always reminded me of the sky; they had the same vastness and magnificence.

(Sudha Murthy is a widely published writer and chairperson of the Infosys Foundation involved in a number of social development initiatives. Infosys chairman Narayana Murthy is her husband.)

Article sourced from: Lasting Legacies (Tata Review- Special Commemorative Issue 2004), brought out by the house of Tatas to commemorate the 100th birth anniversary of JRD Tata on July 29, 2004.

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